To stare temptation in the eye

How do we do it? How to we stare down temptation. This is not an easy feat and there is no easy solution.

This morning I went to a networking meeting with Biz Makes Biz. There were a lot of participants and there were quite a few who bought with them wonderful products for sale. The ones that most tempted me were the “thinking games” for children, the glass jewelry and the accessories for giving massages. There were other products there for sale, but thankfully, not all tempted me as the ones that I mentioned above.

Why did those three products temp me so much? Well, I will start with the thinking games. I love thinking games and my kids have a closet filled with them and believe it or not we do play with them. I was never one for pretend but offer me to play a board / thinking game – I am in and even though my children are not that young anymore, we find ourselves sitting down to play a game a couple of times a week.

The jewelry tempted me on a less emotional level but still I felt a strong need. My son is in the 6^th grade and the Bat Mitzvah celebrations have begun. The mode today is to give money. My son insists that we give money, but I would prefer to give a present. I think that a present is more personal and will have more meaning an use for the Bat Mitzvah girl. Money, at best, gets put in the bank for a later date and in many cases is used to pay for the extravagant production. Also when giving money there is a feeling of competition – “how much did you give” becomes the question of the day and sometime “how much did you get” is the second question. Not for me. I have been looking for a nice piece of Jewelry, which fits into our "Bat Mitzvah budget” and I think I have finally found something to fit the bill.

The other products that tempted me were the accessories for massages. The developer of these products demonstration one on me and it was great. With very little physical effort, I got a great massage!

I had a real problem. The temptation was great. All the more so because each item had a strong connection with my values – education, family and loving myself So what could I do to face the temptation?

First, take a step back and think! No purchase needs to be made immediately. Speak with the sales person, collect information on the product and the price, thank the sales person and then go sit with myself for a couple of minutes and ask myself if I really need the product? If the answer is yes then the next question I should ask myself is if I have the budget for it – was the planned for. If the answer is yes, then I can go for it! Easy, huh?

What should I do if the answer is NO? Meaning either I do not need it but really want it or I need it but it is not within my budget? Here, the answer is easy, too, but it requires discipline. I should start saving for it. It may require that I do a little shuffling of the budget for the next month or two (or three, depending). If I REALY want it then shuffling will be worth it.

There are 2 other possibilities: 1. I might realize that it is not really worth it and that I do not want it as much as I thought, or 2. I might find a substitute that meets my needs to the same (or better) extent and is more economical.

Well, what do you think that I did in the face of such temptation?

Mindy

How to decide on what to spend your hard earned money

Your buying options are endless and there are so many pushes and pulls! Industry spends so much on advertising, some direct and some subliminal, and there is NO way NOT to be influenced. And if you manage to maintain some level of discipline, you can’t guarantee that those in our family will. Ever heard of the children’s book "The Bernstein Bears Get the Gimme’s"? Well, I know that my little bears get the gimme’s all the time and it is not so easy or pleasant to be the one to say "no". More than that, maybe you do not want to be that kind of person. Maybe you want to be able to get yourself and your family whatever they want as long as it is within reason.

OK. So the first thing to do is to determine what is within reason and what your limits are. You can look for the answers in your monthly budget. How much disposable income is left over after all your fixed expenses are paid for? Also, you should include a category in your budget for purchases that you want to make "Just Because".

Once you determine how much you have to spend, you can then focus on priorities.

Deciding on priorities is easy: Determine if the item is NEEDED or WANTED. A NEEDED item is one that you can’t manage without and a WANTED item is one that is "Nice to Have" or "Just Because. Of course, the items that are NEEDED have a higher priority than those that are just nice to have.

Once you have determined that the item is NEEDED, then check if there is an alternative. An alternate can be a different item that has the same function or the same item by a different manufacturer or supplier. Always look for the best deals with the best quality for price ratio (a lot of times something cheap turns out to be quite expensive in the long run) – but don’t spend too much time exploring your options. Time is money, too.

If you determined that the item is "Nice to Have", then check how much money you budgeted in the "Nice to Have" category of your budget. If you have enough money then go for it, but remember that if you do buy it, you may not have enough money left over in that category to buy something else that is "Nice to Have". What are the opportunity costs for spending now? Is it worth it?

It may seem as if this is time consuming process, however it’s not. Mostly the matter is solved as soon as you ask yourself if the item is NEEDED or WANTED.

Happy spending!

Mindy